How to not take things personally at work

Do you often get offended at work? Are you looking for ways to not take things personally at work? Then you are at the right place.

Tanking things personally at work can be stressful and make you alone and depressed. This can lead to unproductive work, misunderstanding, and arguments.

What should I do then?

Well, to cure the problem we first need to identify the root cause of the problem.

Let’s find out the root cause –

Why do you take things personally?

You take things personally because you feel insecure and have self-doubts.

Let’s understand it with an example –

Imagine a scenario, where you have worked all night and made a presentation. The next day you are presenting it in your office meeting.

But, There is one person, who is not paying attention to your presentation. Instead, She is checking her phone.

Do you feel heart?

Of course, you do, and you took it personally.

You worked hard and yet she is not paying attention. You feel like you are not being valued, you are not being respected. You think she should respect you.

But, why do you think that?

Because you had self-doubt about your work. You thought, what if my presentation is not good enough? What if someone doesn’t like it? And then your ego comes to distort reality. You think you should be respected. She is arrogant she is not respecting me.

Your insecurities became your ego and now you feel heart.

So, what’s the solution?

How to not take things personally?

Don’t think that every little thing happening around you is because of you or about you. No, It is not. See things from different perspectives.

Maybe the person from the previous example was checking her phone because she got an important message she was waiting for.

Here are 4 ways to not take things personally –

Recognize it’s not about you

As I already told you above, It is not always about you. Let’s say someone is criticizing the project you did. 

That’s because, Maybe your colleagues are jealous of you, Or maybe they have a different perspective. So before taking it personally, take a deep breath, and think about it.

If colleges are laughing while looking at you, then that doesn’t mean they are laughing at you. What if they were talking about last night’s comedy show?

So, it is not about you, it is about them.

But, what if they are criticizing me?

Be self-aware

Even if they are criticizing you, it is not you. Let’s say they are laughing at your new coat. Again it is not about you, it is about your coat. Maybe your coat is really funny looking.

So, What I want to say is that you need to be self-aware and set a boundary between yourself and your things or your work. Every time you feel like people are criticizing you, take a moment, and think, Is it really about me or it’s about my things or work?

But, what if I am not able to tell?

Be open

If you think that it is about you and you are heart, then be open and tell them. If they were criticizing your project, then tell them that you work hard on it and now you are offending me, It hearts.

Most of them will stop criticizing you and some of them can even help you.

It is as simple as that. Tell them that you got heart by their words.

Here is an article on How to express thoughts and ideas clearly

But, what if it is about me?

Adopt a growth mindset

No one is perfect. Even if people are criticizing you, take it positively. It is a chance to learn and grow. Maybe your presentation skill is really bad. Instead of getting offended, you can ask them which areas need improvement.

This will help you get even stronger and develop new skills.

Final thoughts

You take things personally because you are insecure about the things you do. If I say you are an apple. Will you take it personally?

No. Why?

Because you already know that you are not an apple. You have no doubt about it.

On the other hand, If I say you are selfish. Now do you feel something?

Yes, you do. Why?

Because you know you are selfish at some level. You did something selfish. You already had self-doubt that you are selfish. Even before reading this article, you had doubts about you.

And when someone hit on your raw nerve, you get offended, you take it personally.

But, it’s fine. Take a deep breath and relax.

See, It helps.