How to ask open-ended questions

There are two types of people when it comes to communication. People who can make a boring conversation interesting and people who do boring conversations. Which one are you?

Even if you are not the latter one, It’s always helpful to level up your communication skills. If you are that boring person then it’s time for you to change.

Also Read - How to express thoughts and ideas clearly?

Open-ended questions vs Closed-ended questions

There are many types of questions. However, a conversation flow depends on two types of questions, open-ended and closed-ended questions. One can end the flow of conversation and the latter can let it flow smoothly.

Let’s first understand to Identity these types of questions.

What are closed-ended questions?

All those questions that can have a predefined set of choices and are limited to them are closed-ended.

Some examples of closed-ended questions are -

1. Do you like cats?
2. Do you have a cat?
3. Are you free this weekend?
4. Is your business going well?

And the list can go on.

As you can see all these questions are simple “Yes” or “No” questions. You can’t get much information from the person you are asking these questions.

Generally, these types of questions are bad for an informative conversation. For example - on a date, while selling something, or when you are trying to make new friends and connections.

However, If you want to end the conversation then these types of questions are perfect for this situation (Maybe you have your own reason for this). Let’s move on to the other type of question, the interesting one.

What are open-ended questions?

All those questions, that can’t be answered with some predefined set of choices and require the person to think and answer in a free-form way are open-ended.

Generally, these questions include WHO, WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHEN, and HOW, no matter the language or when they are used in a sentence (Many languages use the question word in the middle of a sentence).

You should ask open-ended questions in most conversations, like when you are on a date or selling something. (Don’t know about you but I abuse the power of open-ended questions)

Why ask open-ended questions?

Open-ended questions are a powerful skill when it comes to information gathering and making friends. This type of question lets you have a view of other persons ideas, likings, opinions, and feelings.

Open-ended questions force a person to think and interact with you. It makes the conversation continue. These types of questions show that you are interested in what he/she has to say. And that’s the key point that makes you interesting.

Now, that you know why open-ended questions are important, let’s learn to ask them.

How to ask open-ended questions?

Asking an open-ended question is an art in itself. However, I am not saying it is a hard-to-master skill. Infect it’s quite the opposite in my opinion.

Over the years I have developed a step-by-step process to ask open-ended questions in a conversation. (It is not a professional guide, however, it can work most of the time)

To ask an open-ended question, you first have to be in a conversation. You can start a conversation by asking an easy question or introducing yourself and then follow up with an open-ended question.

Here’s the step-by-step guide -

1. Start the conversation.
2. Follow up with a question.
3. Pause before asking the follow-up question (take a natural pause).
4. Ask yourself “Is the question you are going to ask open-ended or close-ended?”.
5. If it is a close-ended question, then try to convert it into an open-ended question.
6. Try to recreate your question with WHO, WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHEN, and HOW question words. (Don’t force yourself)
7. And then ask.

Don’t make it one-sided, conversation is a two-way process. You have to give some information as well to make the conversation flow interesting.

Remember, you will need this guide for a few conversations and then your brain will rewire itself to ask open-ended questions. (That’s how our brain works)

With some practice, you will be the interesting person everyone talks about.

One important thing you can do is to watch other people’s conversations. (Search “open-ended questions conversation” on YouTube)

But for now, you don’t need to go there, because the article is not over yet.

How to change a closed-ended question to an open-ended question?

There are 3 magic words you can add to almost any closed-ended question to change it to an open-ended question.

This technique is for questions related to sales. However, no one stops you to use it in other conversations, as long as it works and doesn’t make the conversation awkward.

And those magical words are “To what extent”.

Yep, that’s it. Let’s try to change some closed-ended questions to open-ended questions

Of course, this idea is not mine. I got this idea from a great YouTube video and here is the link - How to Change Any Closed-Ended Question to an Open-Ended Question

Before moving on to the next topic, I have found another magic word for you to use. It might not work for all of the closed-ended questions, however, it will work for at least a few questions. (Something is better than nothing)

And that word is “HOW”. Yep, you read it right.

Add “How” if a question is starting with “Can”. If we do a little research it might work for other cases too.

Here are some examples -

Top open-ended questions

As you might already know, our brain learns new things from practice. When it comes to learning a new skill, it’s the same process.

Although this article is not on neurology, however you should know that by practicing our brain creates new connections between our neurons, thus making the skill permanent.

I thought it would be helpful for you if I provide closed-ended questions as well.

So here are some closed-ended questions and their equivalent open-ended questions -

Remember, “How are you?” is always better than “Is everything alright?”.

For those who are going on a date or want to go on a date, the next topic is for you.

Best open-ended questions keep her interested in you

As human beings, we always like to brag about ourselves (Don’t take it the wrong way). And we can use it to our advantage.

By asking an open-ended question we can keep the conversation going. And this is the skill that makes most people interested.

So, here are some best open-ended questions to ask a girl -

1. What are you most attracted to in a guy?
2. What’s the funniest pickup line someone said to you?
3. What’s something you are excited to do this month?
4. What’s the last lie you told?
5. What’s the weirded food you have ever eaten?
6. What is your go-to coffee?
7. What are you most passionate about?
8. How would you spend your last day?
9. What’s the worst film you have ever watched?
10. What’s something that not many people know about you?

And the list can go on.

If you want more then there is a great video by a lovely lady on YouTube about this topic, I learned it from her and applied it. Here is the link - 20 Best Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl/ Keep The Conversation Going & Keep Her Interested In You

Conclusion

Open-ended questions are powerful, and we can use this power to our advantage. Whether you want to close a deal or want a date. It all depends on the conversation you are having. Is it interesting or boring?

If it’s boring then make it interesting.

• Pause before asking the question.
• Is the question you are asking closed-ended or open-ended?
• If it’s closed-ended, then rephrase it and change it to an open-ended question.
• Conversation is a two-way process, provide some information back as well.

No one is an expert by birth. It’s the practice, that makes an expert. With enough practice, you can be an interesting person in your group or company.

With that this article ends here, see you on to the next one.